This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
