ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
