I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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