i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
