That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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