Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
