I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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