First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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