I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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