So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize