Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
