I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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