A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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