Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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