Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Ketchup is God's man juice
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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