Can i not drive my cunt home
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
