By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I know her cup size but not her name....
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
