New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
