i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Oh god it's open bar.
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