dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
