You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
