Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
