Your face is a jimmy john
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
