when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
