Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
