i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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