you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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