Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
