I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Randomize
