We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
