Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
