You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
