what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize