but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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