Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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