Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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