I think i peed on brittanys purse
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
