You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Randomize
