i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
