last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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