Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
