Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
