the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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