My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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