He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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