I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Randomize
