...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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