U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
