can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize