i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
