it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
