I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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