so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Drunk is a universal language darling
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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