We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just googled if crying burns calories
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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