tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
This house was built for laser tag.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
