margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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