I smell stomach acid.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
