I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
