From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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