Its about making memories worth repressing
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
