just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
