one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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