I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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